A Brief Guide to Sex with Dogsabg2ds.gif 
    by Anonymous & Rachael Ross

    When I get asked for advice it comes in two varieties:
    How do I write a story?
    How do I have sex with a dog?

    Since having sex with dogs is a lot easier than writing, I'll answer that one first. This is something I wrote ages ago and let me say first off that it's based on an anonymous guide which was evidently written by a man, since it had zero information about women/dog liaisons. I rewrote it for some friends and a few websites adding the female perspective and editing the male specific information with assistance of a friend who is knowledgeable about such things. So this is not entirely my own work and I would love to credit the original author, but well over half of what is here is mine alone and the remainder edited and rewritten for content and grammar, as I say. 

    The finished article has been passed around, edited, claimed, and unclaimed by other people, organizations, and web sites. I don't really care because I threw it in the public domain for free like I do most of my stuff. The text you see here has been altered from my original draft but the pertinent information remains accurate and hopefully helpful to persons interested in the subject.

    Disclaimer: You should never be afraid to consult professional advice regarding your health and that of your dogs. I'll admit that you may have to think fast and be creative at times, but there are very real medical issues to consider…The author is NOT a veterinarian, although significant contributions to this guide were made by a sympathetic licensed veterinarian who was kind enough to edit the final proof before posting. All grammar and spelling errors are mine alone, as are any mistakes in the subject matter itself. I bear full responsibility for any inaccuracies and gratefully acknowledge the contributions of my editors: Bennix (he loves dogs!) and R.A.Starling V.M.D. who provided me with technical information and gentle suggestions and encouragement. Without those two wonderful men I would have spent most of my time talking about my dogs and not explaining a darn thing. -rr



    1 - Getting Started

    The female dog normally comes on her first heat between the ages of nine and fifteen months. Attempting intercourse with her at this time is not recommended since these changes in her biochemistry are confusing enough without having you trying to do weird things to her. I would strongly suggest waiting until her second heat if all appears normal.

    2 - Finding the right bitch for you

    As a rule of thumb, any medium to large breed of dog should have no problem accommodating a healthy, averaged size human male. If you're like me and have a strap-on, be sensible bout the length and girth. Unlike some women I know, most bitches do not have a size fetish and the last thing you want to do is hurt the one you love. Proceed slowly and gently at first and at the first sign of discomfort in the bitch, STOP! and pull out. I'll get into more specific warning signs and safety precautions in another section of this text.

    3 - Preparation is the key!

    In preparing to have sex with your dog, you'll need to run down to the local drug store and pick up some KY Jelly. I use that stuff for everything. If you can't find any, Wet and Astro-Glide, both of which can be found at your local porn palace will work as well. Surgical lubricants, like the stuff Doc puts on his finger when you bend over, will work wonderfully. You can buy it by the gross at a medical or veterinary supply outlet. DO NOT use petroleum or oil based lubricants.

    Buy, beg, or steal some latex gloves, the sort doctors wear. If you're going to be messing around with a stray dog or any dog you don't own, it doesn't hurt to rubber up! You can get infections or a fever from bitches with vaginal infections or brucellosis (Bang's disease).

    Use Condoms! If sharing a dog with your Uncle Bob or picking up a stray for a one night stand, protect yourself. Dogs do not carry AIDS, however it is possible that the virus may survive long enough in a canine vaginal environment to be retransmitted to another (human) partner. That goes for all forms of STDs. Dogs are susceptible to yeast and bacterial infection and those may certainly be passed along to humans.

    Purchase some surgical soap. The real stuff. Avoid an abrasive soap like Lava. Irish Spring smells nice, but what you want is surgical soap, ask your pharmacist. What are you going to do with it? Clean yourself. Clean your hands, clean your cock, clean your big toe if you intend to insert it into your bitch. Clean your toys, you lesbian dog lovers. Wash your strap-on before and after every use.

    A bitch's vagina is a very vascular area and, especially when in heat, is quite susceptible to infection. Use your nail clippers and trim your fingernails if you intend to finger your dog. Fingernails are often dirty and sharp and you do not want to scratch the delicate inner lining of a bitch's vagina. Cut those nails down and file them nice and smooth. You'll also look stunning with your new manicure!

    And lastly, MilkBones! Buy these with everything else if you really want to squick the counter people :)

    4 - In the trenches

    Once you've got your bitch and your supplies, it's time to get to work. I do not suggest attempting sex with a bitch out of season, especially if she is not your dog. You may wind up getting bitten, which may mean changing your name to John Wayne Bobbitt. A bitch in heat is your best bet, but just because she's wet and smells nice doesn't mean she's in the mood. How can you tell if she's wants it? Check the discharge. The discharge of a bitch in "Standing Heat" should be pinkish/creamy white in color. This period lasts for between seven and nine days and is in the middle of the complete heat cycle.

    If the discharge is a dark, blood red, she's just coming into or going out of heat. It never hurts to try but DO NOT force her. She may say no the first time. Bitches are known to tease and may jump forward or fall over in front of you. However, if she reacts with hostility to your loving advances, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Always remember that for a dog, no really does mean no.

    Definite signs that a bitch is receptive are: Flagging - raising of the tail over the back exposing the genitals; Soliciting - rubbing her butt in your crotch, sitting on your face, etc; and Play Posing - being excessively playful, jubilant, etc.

    Once you're both consenting, you may consider some foreplay. Fingering her will bring you both hours of joy and amusement. The bitch's "clitoris" is located about 3/4-1" into the vagina in large breeds, and somewhat less than that in smaller breeds. The clitoral ridge is fairly prominent and easy to find with a gentle finger. Rubbing this will cause her to start thrusting and she'll love you for every moment of it. If she's your dog or if you're certain she's healthy, you may want to engage in some "puppylingus.” Most bitches have a bitter-sweet taste when in standing heat and I definitely recommend the aroma. Note: For information on making out with your bitch, see below. (Part II Number 6)

    When all the teasing is done, it's time to start your engines! The vagina of a female dog takes a sharp turn upward so you will have to enter from a seventy-five to eighty degree angle. The average body temperature of a dog is 101-102 degrees Fahrenheit so expect her to very hot and moist. I don't believe I need to tell you what to do from here on in. Enjoy yourself and treat her to a milkbone!

    5 - Out of heat and spayed bitches

    If the bitch is your own, you may want to try her out of heat. The same rules apply except be sure and use an excessive amount of lube and be very careful. Take it slowly and gently. You can do a lot of damage if you try and force her and that'll be a difficult one to explain to the vet.

    Most spayed bitches cannot have intercourse because of the removal of their reproductive organs. They do not come into heat and very few show any interest in sex. You can try fingering a spayed bitch or going down on her, but I'd strongly advised against intercourse unless you have extensive experience and are very familiar and comfortable with your bitch.

    6 - Anal Sex

    The same rule of thumb for size applies to anal sex as well. There are some dogs that like anal sex, others that tolerate it and those that can't stand it. Most dogs will not be immediately comfortable with anal sex, but if you really want to try it… Note: If your dog reacts with an expression of pain or anger, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Your dog is probably not suited for anal intercourse. It isn't a mood thing, it's a dog thing.

    How to: Start by touching the anal area of your dog and let them get comfortable with it. Do not dive right in and start insert everything all at once. Wait until the dog freely allows you to touch him/her under the tail. Be patient. While touching around the tail, wear surgical gloves. Numerous worms and bacteria which can cause a variety of illnesses can be found in dog feces. NEVER MAKE ORAL CONTACT WITH A DOG'S ANUS. The result could be a nasty infection or a case of tape, ring, or hookworms, among others.

    Once your dog is comfortable with you feeling around the anus, try inserting a VERY well lubricated, gloved finger. Do this over and over again until your dog seems comfortable with it. Once again, if your dog seems to be in pain or reacts violently, STOP and DON'T try again. Gradually increase the number of gloved, well lubricated fingers you use until the number of fingers inserted comfortably represents the width of your penis. You may then attempt anal intercourse with your dog. You must USE A CONDOM during anal sex. It isn't negotiable unless you're really, really into nasty urethral infections.

    Remember: (1) Not every dog enjoys anal sex. The majority of them do not; (2) Always rubber up and never have oral contact with the anus; and (3) STOP IMMEDIATELY if your dog shows signs of pain or discomfort. On a barely related note, if you notice worms in your dog's stool, bring your dog to the vet with a stool sample.



    1 - Intercourse with Dogs: Receiving (Vaginal and Anal)

    (A) General Discussion 

    Most male dogs are more than happy to mount you and fuck you silly. Some are less enthusiastic than others. There are dangers to being mounted by a male dog though. 

    First, one must understand the anatomy of the male canine reproductive system. A dog's penis is unlike that of a human. The appearance, texture and sensitivity are much different. Working from the tip back, the end of a dog's penis is somewhat blunt with a slight angle. It typically swells to its greatest shaft width along the first 2/5 then gradually tapers until you reach the bulb at the base of the exposed, unsheathed penis. 

    The bulb, (bulbous glandis) is a large swelling at the base of the penis which consummates the tie between a bitch and a male during sex. On a black lab, it's normally about 3 to 3.5 inches wide, or about 7 to 8 inches in circumference…A pretty good handful for most of us. If you're going to have sex with a male dog, the bulb and the Os Penis are your main concerns. The Os Penis is a bone inside the shaft of a dog's penis. 

    If he gets overly excited and starts thrusting wildly, you could get jabbed in the wrong places with it. This is more likely to occur during anal intercourse than vaginal, but be aware that unprepared vaginal intercourse with an overeager dog can result in lesions, tears, and painful bruising to the vaginal wall. Same thing with anal sex, except the results can be even worse due to the increased likelihood of bacterial infection. 

    (B) Anal Sex

    Both men and women can enjoy anal sex with their male dogs. Since there is little to physically differentiate boys from girls, other than superficially (and the male prostate of course) we’ll regard them in similar fashion for the purposes of discussion. Tips on mounting are covered in section C below.

    For those men and women who enjoy anal sex, you absolutely, positively must ensure you're well lubricated. You should be very clean as well and that includes an enema, although it isn't mandatory unless you have a fetish for it. But cleanliness is always good and lube is essential. Help your dog find his mark! Getting jabbed in the wrong place by an eager dog hurts, I'm telling you. If you do, trust me, you won't sit comfortably for days. You men, watch your balls! 

    If you allow a dog to mount you anally there is a possibility that the dog may tie with you. That is the bulb, or knot as it is more commonly known, will enter the rectum and in all likelihood remain there. That means you're stuck together. The bulb is composed of muscle tissue which inflates with blood during intercourse and swells to a diameter significantly greater than that of the penis itself. Until you’re experienced and very comfortable with taking just the penis, most people should take precautions to avoid penetration of the bulb. This generally means taking control of the dog’s motion by grasping the penis firmly near the bulb itself and preventing its entry. Another person works amazingly well for this.

    Getting tied to a dog anally is a much different proposition than vaginally. Let's face it, the human butt wasn't made for that sort of thing and so it must be prepared in advance. If you do not prepare yourself, you could be in for fifteen to thirty minutes of agony. Start by loosening yourself up using whatever you can fit up your anus. Well, maybe not anything. Graduated dildos work very well and I highly recommend them. They're available at most decent porn shops. Butt plugs work well to stretch the rectum as well, obviously. Wait until you are comfortable with at least a five inch circumference before taking on a dog. That's a bit more than twice as big around as my thumb and I'm a smallish female, so…Get a tape measure and you'll see what I mean.

    Once the dog’s bulb is planted inside the rectum, try to relax and enjoy the ride. The animal will be releasing his semen long before tying with you and will continue to do so until after he is able to pull out. It is imperative that he NOT pull out of you until he starts getting softer and the bulb shrinks. Otherwise, you may have one hell of a story to tell at the Emergency Room! Do not try and pull it out as the anus and rectum may be injured by any forced removal of the bulb. Assuming you've prepared yourself well in advance, there's no reason the sensation of being tied can't be a nice long pleasurable experience for both of you. 

    (C) Vaginal Sex

    Vaginal sex with a dog is a beautiful thing and I highly recommend it. It’s important to remember that you should be relaxed and very well lubricated before attempting intercourse. The best form of lubrication, in my opinion, is natural and that’s why they have such awesome tongues. If natural lubrication isn’t sufficient use an adequate amount of any water-based lubricant, like our old friend KY Jelly. 

    Another point of interest is that dogs are both similar and different from human males in a number of ways. Both are easily excitable and prone to be selfish, but a man will generally accept your good advice (if he’s smart) and reign in his urgent desires so much as he’s able, or loose them as you prefer. A dog, on the other hand, will display a wide range of emotional response. Everything from disinterest to desperation and you must approach your liaison with some amount of patience and understanding. Enough for both of you, believe me.

    To get a dog to mount you, grasp his sheath gently and start rubbing the base of it, near his scrotum. He should, at that time, start thrusting. Some dogs will try and mount you right then and there. Remember, if it's his first time, he'll need some guidance. Even some experienced dogs need help from time to time, and some dogs need glasses. If he does not try to mount you, try pulling him up and jerking him off as he stands behind you. If he just doesn't want to mount you for some reason, try lying on your back with your legs hanging off a couch or bed. Have him lay on top of you, in the missionary position, and try it that way. That's actually my favorite and the position I most recommend for vaginal sex, but everyone always wants it doggy style for some reason…Go figure. On the other hand, for anal sex, doggy is more effective and comfortable, I'll admit. 

    Once you've got him to mount you, attempt to guide his penis inside you. Remember, if he misses, that Os penis can hurt. It's a bone! Once firmly inside, you can leave most of the driving up to him. The bulb, as mentioned previously, will swell during intercourse and the vagina is a very accommodating orifice. The bulb may easily enter and exit the vagina until eventually it becomes too large to easily disengage by itself. For this reason it is possible to be tied to the dog without even realizing that it's happened until one of you pulls or pushes and then you feel that strangely pleasurable tugging sensation. Don't worry! Girl's stretch and even with the largest breeds the vagina will stretch lovingly around it with little pain and often with significant pleasure, believe me!

    Women who do experience any pain or more than slight discomfort as the bulb enters the vagina should stop their intercourse and take measures to prevent penetration of the bulb. This can be accomplished most easily by grasping the dog's penis by the hand and controlling the animal's movements. Often a partner works best in this situation, but if an extra set of hands is unavailable I'd suggest the missionary position as the most effective way of controlling the dog. It's also a great way to kiss him and tell him what a great lover he is. The cuddling is awesome! 

    The idea that a dog’s bulb will “lock” the animal’s cock inside a human female is largely a myth. As I said, the vagina is flexible and it stretches wonderfully. If he ties with your vagina and you wish to disengage prematurely, this is usually not a problem. The vaginal mouth will stretch enough to allow the bulb egress, but this may be uncomfortable for some women and even unnecessary. Unless your parents are coming home unexpectedly, I wouldn't advise it and suggest you relax and enjoy yourself.

    Taking the knot invariably leads to 15-30 minutes of raw, wonderful pleasure and a golden opportunity to bond closely with your dog. Even a petite woman with a larger breed of dog will accommodate the bulb with little or no discomfort assuming she is relaxed and well lubricated, either naturally or with KY Jelly, or other non-petroleum based lube as mentioned previously. If you have your husband or boyfriend handy, this is a good time to give him that slow, loving blowjob you promised him for his birthday last year. 

    To remove the knot, take control of the animal by grasping the base of his penis and pull GENTLY do not jerk or yank it. Don't grab him by the balls either! A steady, gentle pressure will generally allow you to pull the bulb free with a minimum of discomfort depending on the relative size of the animal. Don't worry; the dog won't feel any pain at all. If you feel any pain or more than small discomfort, stop pulling immediately and relax, enjoy the ride and wait for the bulb to shrink in its own good time. 

    Once "tied", the dog will probably try and turn around so that you're butt to butt with him. This is an instinctual behavior as he wants to fend off anyone who would take advantage of the situation. If he starts trying to pull out or panics, grab whichever legs you can and try and hold him against you so he doesn't pull out. It is a very good idea to have someone else present the first time you tie with a dog in case of an emergency. As mentioned previously, disengaging the knot from the vagina prematurely is usually not a problem, but you want to ensure as much control over the situation as possible to reduce the risk of injury. Sit back, enjoy fifteen to thirty minutes of elation and once he starts getting soft, let him pull out of you. The dog will test the bond you share and that's normal. 

    When he's free, after vaginal or anal intercourse, it's generally best to leave the dog alone. His penis will be sensitive and if it's coming out of your rectum, covered with bacteria. This won't harm the dog as he sets about cleaning himself. Remember that all dogs are different, just like people. Some dogs may not want to mount or show an interest in mounting. Others will never tie, only penetrating with the shaft of the penis. There are also dogs that don't turn when they are, or are not, tied. It all depends on the individual dog. 

    2 - Anal sex with dogs: Giving

    The same written in the section on bitches applies to male dogs. Refer to Anal Sex (Number 6 above) for further information.

    3 - Oral sex with dogs: Receiving

    Some dogs are natural born lickers and will lick anything and keep licking until whatever their licking is raw. Others will never lick anything in their lives. Once again, dogs are individuals and will each act differently in different situations. The best way to find out how your dog will react is to just give it a shot. If your dog is not too enthusiastic about licking, try using gravy, peanut butter or any other treats you dog might enjoy. DO NOT use chocolate or cocoa based products as chocolate can be toxic for dogs.

    Dogs are superlative and sublime at cunnilingus, in my experience. You do not have to worry about all those sharp teeth; dogs are amazingly adept at controlling themselves. Once you've found a canine partner who enjoys licking pussy, the difficulty often comes from controlling oneself as the pleasure mounts (for me anyway) Don't clamp your thighs to the dog's head, grab him by the ears, and grind your happy, humid cunt against his face. I haven't found a dog yet who enjoys that. It's important to relax, keep those legs open, and it's perfectly alright to stroke the animal lovingly, scratch him behind the ears, and whisper soft words of praise.

    Analingus is very much like cunnilingus for a dog and most dogs will be interested in performing it for you. Again, it may be necessary to coax the dog with bribery by applying something tasty to area in question. Just remember all dogs will not be into oral so don't try and force the animal under any circumstances. No means no.

    Dogs love cock, or so I've heard, and many men have reported hours of pleasure beneath the slavish tongues of canine friends. DO NOT try to insert the penis into a dog's mouth. The teeth are very sharp and designed for cutting meat, get it? Dogs also possess a strong gag reflex and you do not want to try and teach a dog to deep throat. Do I really have to say that? Let the dog lick you like an ice cream cone, lap at your scrotum, and clean up the precum and semen that you may spill. Male or female, most dogs will be more than happy to clean up any mess you might make.

    4 - Oral sex with dogs: Giving

    To get a dog aroused, use the same process as described above. Grasp the shaft through the sheath near the base, close to the dog's scrotum, and start rubbing rapidly. You will be able to feel the bulb become more defined within the sheath and you must pull the sheath back before it gets too large to emerge. If the knot remains trapped inside the sheath, your dog will be uncomfortable until his erection subsides.

    Remember that a dog's penis is normally very sensitive, so be careful when handling it. When exposed to air, the penis is prone to dry out if not constantly moistened. Spit works well for that as even flavorless lubricants (non-petroleum) are rather unsuitable for oral sex, but may certainly be used if desired. There is no problem with using flavored lubricants and for first timers who may be nervous about the taste of a dog's penis, it may provide a bit more comfort…The only problem with flavored lubes, and I know this from experience, is that the dog might like it even more than you do.

    Anyway, I recommend plain old saliva, and direct application is the best method. Try and avoid smearing it on with your hand as that often reduces the effectiveness significantly. Using your tongue is much more fun anyways :) You must be very careful if you choose to take the dog's penis into your mouth, remembering how sensitive it is and ensuring that your teeth do not scrape or bite him. Just use your tight round, O shaped lips and a lot of tongue. It's great and your dog will enjoy it every bit as much as your boyfriend ever did!

    Once fully erect, experiment! Most dogs will just stand and pant away happily as you lick, suck, or rub their cocks. Expect him to stay hard for five to fifteen minutes on average. Dog cum is quite tasty and I highly recommend it! The flavor is usually bitter-sweet and less salty than a man's. It is normally rather thin and watery, although I have experienced dog sperm with a consistency much like human semen. There is no harm in swallowing dog sperm and it is very warm and even nutritious, although I've found that after ten to fifteen minutes of pooling on a blanket the flavor becomes somewhat gamy and not quite so enjoyable for me. Fresh and straight from the tap is best, in my opinion.

    A dog begins to discharge sperm from the time he's about half hard and coming out of his sheath until the time when he starts going back into his sheath. The idea of dogs dripping precum and explosive ejaculation once they've locked a bitch up is largely fictional as described in most erotic stories, but entertaining nonetheless and it makes for good reading. What does happen is that the volume of sperm may increase significantly, much like ejaculation, but basically a dog is cumming the whole time he's having sex. Refer to the chart below for semen volume counts.

    5 - Oral sex with dogs: Neutered males

    Most neutered males lack any interest in having sex. Some are capable of maintaining a half-erection for a short period of time and releasing prostatic (seminal) fluid. If you encounter a neutered male and try masturbating him, stop if he seems uncomfortable. Some will be, some won't be, but don't expect a neutered male to behave like an un-neutered male. He won't.

    6 - Oral sex with dogs: Making out like bandits

    Kissing your dog is not only fun, but essential to any healthy, loving relationship. I think so anyway, but feel free to disagree if you must. Most dogs, being born to lick, will not mind kissing. It may confuse them at first, some of the games we enjoy as people, but in my experience most dogs are playful and eager for your happy pleasure.

    Dog saliva is safe, assuming both you and your dog are healthy! It’s always a good idea to have your dog regularly checked by a veterinarian and every six months is a good schedule. What concerns us here are any open wounds or sores inside and around your mouth and the dog’s. Any cuts or injuries to either of you should be fully healed before giving him French lessons. Dog saliva in an open wound can (rarely) lead to a variety of bacterial infections, but basic precautions and proper hygiene will all but eliminate that risk.

    Some dogs like kissing, some do not, but all dogs like treats. To train my dogs I use Bacon Bits seasoning, they love it. Once the dog realizes that you taste good, he’ll want to kiss you a lot! Having your tonsils explored by a long, rapidly flicking tongue is just about enough to announce the Second Cumming. It really gets my motor running! 

    Sucking a dog’s tongue is a great game and they invariably enjoy it, although it will annoy them if they’re not in the mood. Most dogs will jerk away from your pursed lips as if they don't enjoy it and then come back for more. What a tease! It’s easy to do, just wrap your lips around his tongue, suck hard and tickle it with your own. It always makes me giggle and human laughter is a sound all dogs want to hear. Likewise, just playing licking games is great. Meeting the animal's tongue with your own and kissing between you is fun, easy, and you can do it practically anywhere!

    Putting your tongue in your dog’s mouth can be dangerous because you have to remember that dogs have very sharp teeth. The human tongue is a soft, sensitive organ and you don’t want it cut or bitten. You should only tongue your dog’s mouth once the two of you are very relaxed and comfortable with each other and have some experience with kissing. It’s important to limit your adventures to playing with his tongue near the front or just inside the muzzle. Avoid the temptation to tickle the roof of his mouth, for example. Some dogs will tolerate that, but others may not and it could result in a sudden jerk of the head or worse! Likewise don’t try and ram your tongue down the dog’s throat just because the boy or girl next door likes it. Dogs definitely do not like that! 

    The biggest thing to remember is to stay relaxed and have fun with your dog. Don’t try and force the animal into anything and if he is uninterested, just try again later. Most dogs will quickly come to enjoy kissing and seriously crave the attention, this can be mildly embarrassing or entertaining, depending on how good your party is that night.  

    7 - Docking

    Docking is the insertion of the penis into the sheath or muzzle of a dog. Once again, tolerance to these activities all depends on the dog. I normally strongly discourage docking with the muzzle. It is exceptionally dangerous (as I explained in number 3 above) and could result in some hard to explain hospital visits. Only a very confident man, with a great deal of experience with a dog he has been intimate with for years and years should attempt it…And then it's still dangerous. Ensure the animal is calm, minimize distractions, and exercise patience. Don't force the dog to do something he doesn't want to. Remember, that's the business end of a carnivore. Use common sense.

    If docking the sheath, first check your dog's reactions to having a well lubricated finger probing his sheath. If he doesn't seem to mind that, try inserting several well lubricated fingers, one at a time, until you've adequately represented the width of your own penis. The sheath is elastic to a point, obviously and except for very small breeds (or exceptionally thick men) it will easily accommodate an erect human penis. If he doesn't mind several fingers, you can try inserting your penis into his sheath. Be sure and use plenty of lube! DO NOT rely on your own precum or the dog's semen to provide lubrication. You may want to flush the sheath first with a water enema or mild douche. Remember this is a risky exercise in pleasure as there are a number of dead skin cells and bacteria inside the sheath which could cause urinary tract or other types of infections.

    8 - What does dog semen have in it?

Volume .................7-10 cc with a variation from 0.5 to 20cc
Water percentage ...97% (highest among mammals) vs. man at 90% (lowest)
Contents: Ash, protein, lipids, potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, iron, chlorides, sulphur, amino acids, albumins, proteose, nucleoproteins, mucin, albumose, fat globules, thiamin, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, niacin, ascorbic acid (Vitamin C), enzymes and fructose.
Prostate (seminal) fluid is highly alkaline, which neutralizes acids in the bitch's vagina. Naturally, larger dogs produce more semen than smaller breeds.

    9 - How large is a dog's penis?


Useable Length (inch) Diameter (inch)
Cocker Spaniel 2-3 0.5-1
Greyhound 2.5-3  0.5-1
Bulldog 2.5-5 1
Dalmatian 3-4.5 1
Collie 4-5 1
Labrador 4-6 1
Irish Setter 4-6 1
G. Shepherd 5-7 1.5
Great Dane 5-7 1.5
Saint Bernard 7-9 1.5-1.75
Mastiff 7.5-9.25 1.5-1.75


10 – How do I train my dog? Other Safety Precautions

    Safety First! For you and your dog. In addition to all my previous notes and warnings, the biggest thing to remember is that a dog is always a dog. It doesn't matter how long you've had him, or how much like your Aunt Georgia he looks, a dog is not a person. In that way they are far more trustworthy than most people you are likely to meet. You must respect the animal and his/her instincts as well as desires. The first time you attempt any sort of sexual activity, proceed slowly and cautiously, allowing the dog to react in such a way that no one is hurt. They are very patient with people they know and trust and will usually give ample warning if they experience something they don't like or want.

    The first time you attempt intercourse with a dog, that is receiving vaginal or anal intercourse, it is preferable to have a partner to help control the situation. An experienced partner is obviously best, but just having someone available with an extra set of hands and eyes is a good thing. I understand it isn't always practical, however, and that's unfortunate.

    For most first timers I'd recommend missionary over the traditional doggy position. It will allow you the most control over the animal and it's very comfortable once you arrange yourself properly on a chair or bed. It works well for first time dogs as well, especially younger animals who may be prone to over-excitement. Holding the dog close to your body, speaking to him, and stroking him gently will often allow him to relax and calm down more than if he's behind you and on his own. It's also much easier to control the dog's knot that way if you do not want to be tied. Making out with him is pretty fun too, I might add, and generally heightens the experience for me.

    Watch out for those nails! Dog toenails are often long, ragged, and sharp even if they're kept well groomed. Most dogs will want to hold onto you in any position they are in, but especially mounting from behind. He wants the leverage and although he doesn't mean to, those nails can scratch the heck out of a human's delicate skin. In the event of a scratch it's important to wash it with anti-bacterial soap and apply any of the commercially available antibiotic creams you find at a drug store. Dog feet tend to be dirty, even for one who stays in the house and you should take precautions against infection.

    Even better than the cure is prevention. I'd suggest covering the dog's front paws with mittens or socks to reduce the possibility of being scratched. A child's mittens work very well, but as I say, a pair of decent wool socks (thick ones) will do in a pinch. If you have sewing skills you can certainly make your own out of whatever material suits your fancy. Those felt bags with drawstrings that some liquors come in work wonderfully! Whatever you use, fix the mittens around the front paws tight enough to remain in place, but don't overdo it. Most dogs won't like it at first. They'll want to get those mittens off and so you should train the dog to ignore them and that simply means get him used to wearing them. I've found that food is the best training tool available. Start your dog early by feeding him only after he has his mittens on. Once the dog associates mittens with food, he'll be eager to see you breaking them out, believe me. It takes time, but it works.

    I'd suggest that you train your dog to expect sex in a certain place or under certain circumstances. I use an old comforter to have sex on, for example. When my dogs see the blanket, they know what we're going to do and they're usually pretty enthusiastic about it. Anything you can do to reduce stress and confusion on the part of your dog is good! This is more oriented to training a new dog, by the way, taking a puppy and teaching him how to be the consummate lover. It's a lot easier and more enjoyable to have a canine partner who understands basic commands, has experienced the things you enjoy, and associates your sexual activities with pleasure. I mean, it's pretty much common sense, right?

    Be aware that changing surroundings and especially the presence of strangers (human and especially canine) may affect the behavior of your dog. They can and do become jealous, for example, and I have one dog who won't let my husband near me while we mate. He doesn't even like him in the same room with us. My other dogs don't mind at all and being fucked by a dog while I suck my husband's cock is one of the great joys in my life, I must confess. But no amount of training has been able to change my dog's mind about sharing me. Remember that all dogs are individuals.

    Mating with some dogs can be an exercise in frustration, particularly with untrained dogs or dogs you're unfamiliar with. It's the biggest reason I've selected my dogs as puppies based on their breed and spent as much time as I have training them for sex. Dogs are not really having sex with us out of pure instinct, they're not being driven by nature to fuck a girl the way they are to fuck a bitch. Dogs will lose interest, they'll wander away, they'll be distracted by passing cars. In short, they can be like eight year olds with ADHD if you don't give them a lot of attention.

    In the stories we find online, the dogs are always willing and eager, they jump right up and go to town, locking the girl up tight and exploding with a rush of thick dog cum. That's fiction. A dog will not rape a human, and in fact a very strong case may be made that rape doesn't exist in nature (outside of humanity) at all. The truth is that even trained dogs will often need to be coaxed into sexual activity and given plenty of attention to keep them interested. Fortunately for me, I love giving them all the attention they can handle. I'm just trying to say that you should enter the game with patience and understanding and a genuine appreciation for your dog's natural inclinations.

    Lastly, if I had to recommend a single breed for a sexual partner, I'd have to go with black labs. I'm biased, true, but they are very even-tempered, intelligent, and fun loving dogs. They're easily trainable and their size is almost perfect for any environment short of a small apartment downtown, although they do need some room and plenty of exercise. A lab will want to be outside 25 hours of the day! But they're comfortable enough living in the suburbs with a decent backyard. If you have a swimming pool…Oh my! I couldn't keep my dog out of it. Anyway, everyone has their favorites, of course, so I just wanted to plug mine. :) Labs are great for sex!!! Just don't ever teach one how to play Frisbee! It sucks getting bonked on the head every morning at sunrise with a Frisbee, believe me. And keep your love blanket behind a closed door or high on a shelf, it can be a little embarrassing when Grandpa asks you why your dog is dragging the blanket into the living room with his cock poking out of the sheath…But that's why my boyfriend is a dog.


    The end
    Rachael Ross

    If you have questions or comments, email me. This article should be used only as a guide and not taken as "The Final Word" on dog sex. Remember that everyone is different, dogs and people, and your experiences may differ from that of someone else. Seek professional assistance where required and love your dog. Merry Matings!

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